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Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

203: Jamie Oliver is Batman.

In Season 2 on January 4, 2013 at 3:55 pm

batman

Batman: The After Dark Knight

Why Batman only fights crime at night:

  • Because baddies have day jobs
  • Because the flames that come out of the batmobile look cooler at night
  • Because bats are nocturnal, and he didn’t want anyone to question the logic of his name
  • But mostly, to avoid getting a lower face tan.

The Zombie Weight Loss Program

Step 1: get bitten by a zombie
Step 2: only eat lean meats (e.g., brains)
Step 3: go walking, all day and all night, and never stop
Step 4: watch your decomposing weight fall off right before your eyes.

Jamie Oliver’s 7 and a half minute meals

After the success of 30 minute meals and 15 minute meals, Jamie Oliver is back to break the cooking land speed record again. First, you have to get into the 7 and a half minute meal mindset by pulling out something you prepared earlier, for example, leftovers or a microwave meal that you can buy from almost any corner shop. Second, bang it in the microwave, 7 minutes is plenty to reheat anything. Third, plate it up in your remaining 30 seconds, and wallah, there you have it, a delicious, home heated up meal on the table within 7 and a half minutes.

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106: Why Zombies Make Perfect Boyfriends.

In Season 1 on January 17, 2011 at 9:44 am

Popculture zombies are the exact opposite of vampires. Vampires are fast, intelligent and sexy. Whereas zombies are slow, retarded and for all intensive purposes, unsexy. But I would like to argue that zombies would make the perfect boyfriends. Yes, they don’t look like Brad Pitt. And yes, they probably don’t have the cognitive ability to remember your anniversary. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t settle for one.

For starters they’ll never interrupt you when you’re talking about your day.

They will stare at your head area, rather than at your breasts.

Sports are too complicated for zombies to understand. So they are quite happy to watch the latest episode of The Hills with you.

They are bragable lovers, because their blood doesn’t serve any other purpose.

Because dangerous guys are attractive. It’s like having a boyfriend who rides a motorcycle, only more dangerous. Hence, more attractive.

They don’t talk back in an argument. Partly cause they can’t talk, and partly cause they love you.

And you’ve always wanted a man who doesn’t just love you for your body, but for your brains as well.