Return to the mothership.

113: The Advertising Set.

In Season 1 on April 13, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Finally the return of the Jedi, after uni work struck back. As you may have gathered, I took a siesta from blogging as the first lot of uni assignments drew near. Now those assignments are gone, I have a couple of weeks on my hands while in denial about my midsemester exams. So I thought I’d let you in on my latest rough workings of yet another open mic set. In other words, I haven’t had any flashes of inspiration for a post since I decided to write one at midday today.

Advertising is everywhere. Too most people it is also annoying, rather bland or feels like a scam. But I try and look at it a bit differently, by seeing the opportunities it presents for me to improve my life. If I bought everything from every advert I saw, I could have the closest shave possible on my pimple free face, which my girlfriend will appreciate while I last longer in bed. After which I’d take a shower in my newly tiled bathroom (with lifetime guarantee), where I can admire my better defined abs, partly due to the ab circle pro, but also helped by the fact that every sandwich I eat has 6 grams of fat (or less), and that only costs me $4.95 with a coke zero. And that keeps my bank balance healthy, on which I earn an awesome interest rate because I took financial advise from the talking orangutan from ING Direct.

You know what’s hard about listening to AMI ads? Knowing you’re not.

“Before I called AMI, I only lasted as long as an ad break on NOVA. But after I smsed a rather innocent word out of context (longer), I now last as long as a proactive acne solution infomercial at 4 in the morning.”

46% of advertisements rely on some form of statistics to influence you. 50% of them are backed by real data, while 64% of them just make up percentages on the spot. 19% avoid round number percentages because they make people suspicious of their authenticity, 20% use round number percentages because they are easier to remember, one third will use factions, .025 will use proportions and 1 in 4 advertisers will use natural frequencies because they are better understood by 9 out of 10 people.

The lynx effect is probably one of the most controversial ad campaigns in recent Australian memory. The basic premise is that using lynx deodorant will get you ladies. And the more you spray, the more ladies you will get. Laughable right? I mean the stuff smells terrible. But in theory it should work. First you spray so much of your favourite/least despised lynx deodorant on without freezing your skin. Then you go to your favourite/least despised bar and talk to the ladies. The sheer amount of lynx you put on will make said ladies you are talking to light headed. Not because they are falling head over heals for you, but because of the lack of oxygen in your cloud of your favourite/least despised lynx scent. The oxygen deprivation combined with the laughing gas properties of lynx will soon have the ladies giggling at all of your jokes. Even the AMI ones. After some time the oxygen deprivation will reach a point where it distorts their perception and cripples their decision making abilities that they suddenly realise that you are the most attractive male specimen they have ever seen and offer to go home with you. However, like many psychological theories of behaviour, it doesn’t work in the real world.

And that was an insight into some of the notes of an open mic set that I was working on about a month ago. I’ll hopefully get some inspiration for an actual blog post soon. Also in non-writing related news, I finally figured out how to ad a facebook “like” button on my blog posts (as seen below).

And in more exciting slightly writing related news, I am considering starting a web comic project, called Comic Stripping. Don’t worry, it will be all draw and all tasteful. So keep and eye out in the foreseeable future.

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