Return to the mothership.

104: The Sequel

In Season 1 on December 23, 2010 at 6:02 pm

After yet another morning shift, there is again no time to come up with original material. So this is the sequel to yesterdays Odds and Ends, with even more odds and ends. Going beyond the realms of my phone, I found material in old notebooks and my ipod.

In an age where food is measured by calories rather than flavour, being healthy is now the “good” thing. To say that I eat healthily at work would be a lie. The irony of this is not lost on me, as I work in a fruit shop. As a result every once in a while someone comments on how unhealthy my lunch looks. Which got me thinking, if only there was something I could add to my lunch that would make it look healthy, but wouldn’t alter the taste at all. The solution: token salad. A small amount of highly visible salad that is so small that you don’t even know that you’ve eaten it. People think your meal is healthy and you are still happy to eat it.

This quick and easy solution is commonly seen in fast food restaurants. Like the shreds of lettuce on a McChicken, or the tomato on a toasted cheese, ham and pepperoni sandwich. The best example of this was at Nandos (The Gap, before it closed down), when they presented four 50 cent sized pieces of lettuce next to an entire plate of deep fried chips and grilled chicken.

On a small side note, it is interesting exactly how much tokenism works. Social psych has taught me that people are much less angry about something when a token (person from there group) gets the benefits of the something. For example, the African American in horror movies who always dies first. Sure, easily recognizable as a token character to put on a face that Hollywood is a fan of racial diversity. But you don’t see any more protests about African Americans not being in feature films anymore do you?

Reality tv shows. As much as I dislike them, I must admit I do enjoy the audition stages. Partly to see more real performances, and I will admit, also to see people fail. But like many social commentators comment, has reality tv gone too far?

Who still adores Australia’s Idols?

When Dancing with the Stars becomes Dancing with People You Barely Know.

So you think you can dance,
just cause you wear tight pants,
well I got a little lesson,
to fix your indiscretion,
so shut up sit down and listen,
cause it goes like this.

They are the tightest of fits,
so when you do the splits,
they reveal too much information,
about your groinal inflammation,
so please hop back on your bike,
you’re not through so take a hike.

If I was an Indian telemarketer, I would call myself Indiana Phones.

You know what’s weird about permanent markers? Every homeless person seems to have one, while I can’t afford to spend that much on a pen. Then I found out why while standing in line at centrelink, “So what are you here for?” “Oh, just inquiring about youth allowance. You?” “Picking up my permanent marker allowance. Also, cause being homeless is my job they’re tax deductible.”


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