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102: The Barbecue

In Season 1 on December 21, 2010 at 8:35 pm

The second post. This is the longest I’ve ever kept a daily blog going. Hooray!

The barbecue is an essential at any Australia Day gathering. It truly is a magical machine. Not only can it allow you to cook meat outside the confines of a kitchen, it also teaches men to cook. Unfortunately it’s only temporary; as soon as they walk back in the kitchen they have to ask how to use the microwave again. Baby steps.

The ability of being able to barbecue is a crude measure of your manhood. You know what’s hard about cooking steaks? You ask everyone how they like their steaks, only to realise that you can’t tell the difference when they’re cooking. “Mate these steaks are really well done.” “Oh, well thanks. I actually learned to cook when I was young, and I hope to become a chef someday… other acceptance speech phrases.” “No mate, I asked for mine to be rare.”

Now to real life news. Some people at work made pinatas on the weekend. And it got me thinking how cool pinatas are in general. If I ever made a pinata, I would make one of Tyler Durden from Fight Club, so that before I saw swinging at it, I would do an impersonation oh him, “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

You know what’s hard about having parents who grew up poor? Every piece of technology is the eighth wonder of the world. We got a new doorbell today, and dad insisted on listening to each of the chimes. In full. Because it would be a waste to not to.

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